When I graduated high school I was a proud size 14. Of course, at that age I thought I was still the dreaded F word (no, not that one. Fat!). Looking back at pictures I wish I could go back and shake myself! I was so little, at least for me I was. Flash forward 9 years, a few bad relationships, major life changes, and 50 pounds and we have me today.
So, who is that person?
How kind of you to ask!
We have a woman who is a proud size 18 (yes, you read that whole sentence right!), who has found true love in Christ, and who has finally found confidence in herself. I am who I am, and I am unapologetically happy in that person.
Okay, now that we have all the background mumbo jumbo out of the way, let’s get into the meat of this post. You know, with some potatoes and bread on the side.
Oh, garlic toast. Yesssss.
Reeling myself back in. Focus Jenni! Focus!
Okay. I’m better now.
A week and a half ago I went shopping for the first time in a plus sized store – Lane Bryant. I had been in the store once before, but had only looked around.
Oh, this time I was determined to find a pair of jeans that fit and that I didn’t hate. I walk in, make a b-line for the shelves of beautiful jeans, and get to looking. Let me tell you, it’s so much better to be pulling jeans from the top rather than sitting on the floor hoping that the pants went that big.
Now, I knew I would be spending some money, but the price on these jeans started at $60 usd! I bit the bullet and pulled out two different washes and sizes – a 16 and a 18. I gave my mom my purse ( cause trying on jeans is serious business, no room for purses!) and went up to one of the sales ladies.
Okay, so you know how normally sales associates look at you like you’re dirt, especially if you above a size 10? Well, not this woman! She was so sweet! She put me in a dressing room, asked me my name (which she remembered when she came back to see how I was doing!) and told me if I needed she would be happy to go and get a difference size. So far, this experience was great!
Of course, then it was time to put the jeans on. Ugh.
I started with the 16, but quickly realized they weren’t right. I folded them back up and grabbed the 18, saying a silent prayer that they fit.
Lo and behold, the did! Not only did they fit, but they felt amazing and guess what? No gapping in the back!
What, no big gap above my butt? It was amazing!
I happily emerged from the dressing room holding onto the first pair of jeans that I had ever bought that fit me just right. My mood was set for the rest of the day and I even ended up buying a beautiful 3/4 sleeve burgundy shirt.
Of course, my bank account took a $103.00 hit, but I think it was celebrating with me.
Moral of this story?
I spent most of my life trying to fit into an image that was impossible. I’m not a tiny woman and I’ll never be in single digit pants, but I’m finally to a place where I’m happy with myself. Instead of trying to convince myself that I’m someone I’m not, I embraced who I actually am. Who cares what size jeans I wear? Why force myself into a 14 or 16 and look like a busted can of biscuits when I can get an 18 and look amazing?! It’s better to embrace what you are and look better, than to have a smaller size and look like a stuffed sausage.
Peace, love, and I’ll see you in the next post! ❤