I Used To Hide Behind My Bright Red Hair

I began dying my hair red at the age of 18. 

Now, I know that most insecure teen girls wouldn’t normally go for something so drastic, but I was looking for a change. I wanted to be different than how I was in high school. I needed to be different. 

 After the first time dying my hair red I was hooked, like a drug, and soon I became dependent on my red hair. 

It was how I felt I attracted guys. Ya know, bright red hair equals sexy vixen. Right?

I kept it up for most of the next seven years, except for a six month period where the majority of my hair was pink and a period of the same length when it was blonde. 

Blonde. 

But I rocked the pink, let me tell ya. 

When I was saved at the age of 25 I found myself on a road of self discovery. It was brought to my attention how much I prided myself on my hair and how insecure I was without it. The thought of dying it back to brown scared me. It actually made my anxiety sky rocket because I felt that I would no longer be attractive. 

Who was I without my red hair?

I felt strongly that I needed to find out. I knew I had to find out. 

So one night I made the journey back to brown. 

And guess what?

The world didn’t end, even if I did cry after I saw it. 

I was still me. My face was the same and my personality never changed. 

My hair was….just my hair. 

It’s one part of many that makes me who I am. I can’t base my self worth on having hair that I thought would attract guys. 

I had to find out who I was in Christ, not in my hair. 

And I found myself worthy. 

Worthy of love. Worthy of friends. Worthy of existing. 

I’m worthy with red hair and without. With makeup or without. 

My hair doesn’t make me who I am. 

I make me who I am. 

Me. 

And I currently have dark brown hair. 

And I love it. 

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