I began dying my hair red at the age of 18.
Now, I know that most insecure teen girls wouldn’t normally go for something so drastic, but I was looking for a change. I wanted to be different than how I was in high school. I needed to be different.
After the first time dying my hair red I was hooked, like a drug, and soon I became dependent on my red hair.
It was how I felt I attracted guys. Ya know, bright red hair equals sexy vixen. Right?
I kept it up for most of the next seven years, except for a six month period where the majority of my hair was pink and a period of the same length when it was blonde.
But I rocked the pink, let me tell ya.
When I was saved at the age of 25 I found myself on a road of self discovery. It was brought to my attention how much I prided myself on my hair and how insecure I was without it. The thought of dying it back to brown scared me. It actually made my anxiety sky rocket because I felt that I would no longer be attractive.
Who was I without my red hair?
I felt strongly that I needed to find out. I knew I had to find out.
So one night I made the journey back to brown.
And guess what?
The world didn’t end, even if I did cry after I saw it.
I was still me. My face was the same and my personality never changed.
My hair was….just my hair.
It’s one part of many that makes me who I am. I can’t base my self worth on having hair that I thought would attract guys.
I had to find out who I was in Christ, not in my hair.
And I found myself worthy.
Worthy of love. Worthy of friends. Worthy of existing.
I’m worthy with red hair and without. With makeup or without.
My hair doesn’t make me who I am.
I make me who I am.
And I currently have dark brown hair.
And I love it.