The DO NOTS of online dating!

I, like millions of other women, have joined the world of online dating. I’ve come across sweet guys, creepy guys, and everything in the middle. From guys with pictures with cute dogs to pictures of them holding their shirt up to show off their “abs”. 

Believe me, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it all. 

So, on this cold Friday night, I thought I’d make a list of dating site dont’s for guys to read and learn from. 

P. S. This is pure fun and not to be taken seriously. (At least mostly)

After all, maybe some of these donts are attractive to other girls. 

Anyways! Onward!

  1. Exnay the shirtless pics unless you’re doing some sort of activity that requires you to be shirtless. I.e. Swimming, hanging at the beach, wake boarding, etc.  I get you’re proud of your abs, but it comes off more conceited than attractive. IMO. 
  2. Don’t go on and on about how you’re done with the games. I get it, you’re looking for something serious. Instead of going on about how your ex cheated on you or took you for granted, just say you’re looking for something serious and life long. That’s it. It’s as simple as that. 
  3. Leave the alcohol out of your pics. Let me just say, I have nothing against a good glass of wine, a bottle of beer, or a good mixed drink, but a picture of you hold a bud lite just comes across as if you’re a 21 year old trying to look cool. 
  4. Speaking of pictures, have some! What’s the point of an online dating profile if you have no pictures?!
  5. Be honest, for heavens sakes. Don’t put that you’re 5’10 if you’re 5’3 or that you’re 30 if you’re really turning 40. I know that may sound cute in your head, but I know that for me that makes you a big no. 
  6. Don’t have a generic profile! There’s millions of guys out there and you’re, in a sense, competing against them. Tell me about yourself! Do you have dogs? Sisters and brothers? What are your hobbies?
  7. Please, try to not start a conversation with, “hi how r u.”. I’m serious, unless you have a great profile I probably won’t even reply. Start with something cute, like commenting on how cute my dogs are or how you love to write as well. Get that convo going!
  8. Please, please, don’t say anything sexual in the first few message exchanges. Unless you’re looking for just a hookup, then go for it, I guess. 

Okay, that’s all I have for now. ✌🏻


You’re Waiting For Marriage? But You’re Not A Virgin!

Life is full of twists and turns. 

You start down one path, only to be redirected to another one. You think you have everything you want, only to realize something major is lacking. 

For 25 years of my life I stumbled through this world living one day at a time.

 I did what I wanted. 

I stayed out all hours of the day. I went to concerts (rock, of course!). I drank – sometimes heavily. I dated guys who were all wrong. I gave myself to men who didn’t deserve it. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I never really slept around. I had boyfriends and I had men who I thought I was crazy for. But that’s way besides the point, right?

I didn’t want them to leave, and having sex was the normal progression. Right? 

But I always felt like something was missing. A piece of my soul that was longing to be filled, but no matter how much I tried it always stayed empty. 

And, oh, how I tried! 

In the summer of 2014 I moved in why my boyfriend of a little over a year – for four days. 

Because I found out that he was smoking pot on the fourth day. 

It wasn’t even the fact of him smoking pot; it was the lies. 

So. Many. Lies. 

My world came crashing down and I didn’t know what to do. 

I went home to my mom, losing it the moment she asked me what was wrong. 

I sat on the couch crying and feeling completely hollow. 

My life was in shambles. 

I kept bouncing my bank account. My job sucked. I had recently had a panic attack – something I hadn’t had in years. My migraines were happening all of the time. My boyfriend has lied to me – and not just once. And I felt like all of my friends were leaving me behind. 

I didn’t know what to do. 

So I did the only thing I could think of.   

I prayed

I begged His forgiveness. I begged for Him to come into my life and change it. I told Him that I give up on trying to do everything my own way. 

I gave Him everything. 

I knew at that moment I could either follow Him, or keep ruining my life. 

So I chose to follow Him and I haven’t regretted that decision since. 

The part of my soul missing? It was God. 

I’m whole. I’m finally whole. 

Of course, with my salvation came changes. 

I started a new job and I’m getting ready to start my journey into Medical Coding. 

My migraines disappeared. 

I have money and haven’t bounced my account in almost two years. 

My clothing became much more modest. 

I am abstinent.  

Oh, and I’m some sort of mutant because I gave up having sex before marriage. 

Why is it we want to celebrate that we, as women, have the choice to sleep with whomever we want but not the right to choose not to have sex?

Why is there such a double standard? 

It’s empowering to have control over our sex lives, right? 

But not if that means not having one before marriage. 

What utter bull crap!

I’m more empowered now, not  having sex, than when I was. 

It’s my choice. 

It’s my right. 

It’s my faith. It’s my relationship with my Lord and Savior. 

It’s my body. 

I won’t look down on you for having premarital sex, so please don’t look down on me because I don’t. 

It works both ways. 

So yes, I can wait for marriage even though I’m not a virgin. 

Yes, that can scare men away,  but I don’t want a man who will be put off by my faith. It actually weeds out the ones that are wrong for me. 

I am unapologetically me. 

And I couldn’t be happier. 

My Big Fat Fabulous What?

As per usual, I’m watching My Big Fat Fab Life on TLC. Now, let me be honest, I have a love-hate relationship with the show. Sometimes I think Whitney is amazing and other times I feel like she’s in complete denial. But, what girl (regardless of size) hasn’t ever been in denial?

Especially about guys. 

On this episode she’s having a heart to heart with her bf because, well, he’s being the stereotypical guy who leads his own life and disregards his girlfriend. Now, don’t misunderstand, I don’t think all guys are like that. But in this post, I want to talk about being with guys who aren’t good for us. 

I think sometimes as plus size women we settle for less than we deserve based on the thought that we can’t find any better. 

What a load of bull is that?

Just because we aren’t a size 2 blonde or a Jennifer Lopez look alike doesn’t mean that we don’t deserve someone who will look at us like we’re the best thing ever. Settling for something so-so because we don’t think we’ll have a great and we don’t be alone is so unfair to ourselves! 

Don’t settle for the man that won’t call you back. Don’t settle for the man who can’t make a date. Don’t settle for the man you have to prod along. 

Just wait. Wait for the man who will send you good morning texts. Wait for the man who will call you first. Wait for the man who will walk the path of your life with you. 

I’m guilty of settling. 

My last relationship was a year long mess of lies, me doing everything, and feelings of not being good enough for any better. 

I even moved in with this man. All because I thought I couldn’t get better. 

I’m not saying he’s a bad guy, just that together we were no good, but I stayed even after I knew that. All because I thought that he was as good as I would ever get. 

But you know what? Flipping screw that. 

I deserve a man who will give 100%, because I know I will give 100%. 

And you do too. Don’t ever forget that. 

Please, don’t ever forget that.