Nobody told me that when my clothes started to get too big that I’d get frustrated.
I know, I know! How on earth could that be frustrating? It means all your hard work is lying off and you’re seeing physical results!
Yes, and it also means that the clothes that I bought are now things that make me feel frumpy. It means that I don’t feel as confident in my clothes as I did when I was heavier.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not enough to make me say, “screw this! I’ll just stay this size!”, but it does affect you mentally.
Weightloss is always made out to be this grand thing, but no one wants to talk about the down side – and oh yes, there is a down side! This blog series is going to be about the ups and downs of weight loss. How it makes you feel mentally, physically, and emotionally.
This is my weight loss story.
- My name is Jenni
- I’m almost 28 years old
- I live in a small town
- I’ve been heavy all my life
- I struggled with anxiety and things that go along with it almost all my life
- I’m single
- I’m currently down 15lbs
- My starting weight was 249
- I’m a size 18 pants and XL tops
- I’m on a 2030 calories a day diet
- I also hate the word diet
- I love yoga
- I can touch my toes!
- I’m lactose intolerant
- I love cheese 😩
- I’m 5’5
- I’ve run out of things to write
I get you. For years I didn’t post or even take full body pics. I felt like my face was way better than the rest of me and if I showed the world what I looked like no one would want to pay attention to me.
I see people who have so many pictures from high school and how they lovingly look back on them. I, however, have very few pictures from that period of my life.
Don’t get me wrong, I have a few, but I spent that time avoiding the camera from the chest down.
Why do we do it?
We are trained to think that unless you look a certain way, you aren’t attractive. We see pictures like this splashed all over the internet and magazines and we think this is the norm.
Or maybe we feel that our chest is too big. Maybe it’s too small. Maybe we think we look too thin and are afraid people will make fun of us. Maybe we hate our stomach.
There’s a million reasons we don’t like our body and I couldn’t even begin to name them all. We also forget that it’s not just curvy girls that feel self conscious.
All women feel that way; big or small, tall or short.
But that’s the thing – if we all feel that way at some point, then why can’t we just be accepting of each other?
Your body does not define you. Your skin color does not define you. Your clothes do not define you. Your hair does not define you.
You define who you are.
Take control of who you are and go on a journey of learning to love yourself. Take those pictures. Post those pictures. Life does not wait for you to decide you’re good enough, so live each day. Enjoy your friends and family. Wear that bathing suit to the beach. Wear the leggings.
Don’t hide everything but your face. Be proud and unapologetically so.
I don’t know about you, but if I ever mention off handily that I like to practice yoga I get the disbelieving stares.
I know what they’re thinking.
“How can she be flexible at all?”
“She’s too big for that.”
It can be incredibly disheartening to hear those words or see them unspoken in someone’s eyes.
Because it isn’t true.
Your size has nothing to do with your physical abilities. Just because you’re plus size doesn’t mean you can’t touch your toes, just like being thin doesn’t mean you can run a race.
Now, I’m not saying that weight can’t hold you back, because it can. But it doesn’t automatically disqualify you from anything you want to do. There are plenty beautiful plus size ladies that are WAY more flexible than women much smaller.
And of course there are some amazingly flexible thin women, like Kino MacGregor.
(If you’ve never heard of her and like yoga then you totally need to look her up in Instagram – kinoyoga. She’s mind blowing.)
I am no where near her in flexibility or strength, but I try and I enjoy my time on the mat.
I think we sometimes forget or don’t realize what our words can do. By telling someone they’re too big to be doing such and such you may discourage them from doing it.
How is that productive?
We all need to encourage one another. In times like these it says much more about a person when they build someone up, rather than when they tear someone down.
That’s not just in yoga.
That’s in life.