For when your praying knees get week – 1

Oh Mondays. So full of rushing around to get back into the swing of things (especially after a holiday weekend!), sleep deprivation, and caffeine. We’re much more likely to be on edge and we look at the week ahead and bemoan how long it is until Friday. 

For this Monday I had a completely different blog post planned. I wanted to talk about starting each week fresh and making the most out of life, but I feel there is something much more important – or prevalent – that needs to be said. It’s something that I deal with a lot and I feel it’s a huge reason for people leaving or never coming to the Christian faith – hypocrites. 

The people who profess such godliness and faith, but who’s actions speak more about promoting themselves than Christ. It’s all about how they can change people. About how important they are. They want people to come to them, not because they feel God speaking and moving through them, but because they love how important it makes them feel. 

Of course, there are the ones who may cuss, become drunk, have premarital sex, etc. But those may lead people to believe that those sins are okay – because we are forgiven. And we are! But we must make an effort each and every day to turn from sin. All sin. 

It’s hard to read or listen to a person preach when you know that their heart isn’t in the right place. It’s hard to believe that anything they say may have any truth. 

But it can. And that’s what makes it all the much harder. Can God work though a selfish, self serving person? I believe he can. God can work though anybody. God is the great I Am. He can do anything. And that’s part of what’s so frustrating. Who wants to listen to a man or woman preach and take it in what they have to say when their life contradicts their words? 

It’s hard enough for someone who knows Christ to do, but imagine how hard it would be for someone who isn’t saved? Someone who knows nothing of Christ? 

I truly believe that a huge part of why so many people embrace atheism is because of hypocritical christians. Instead of pulling people to Christ, we’re pushing them away! We’re showing them everything but love, we judge then because of their sin and never acknowledge our own, and we put ourself up in a pedestal. 

I personally know a man struggling with his faith. He believes there is a God, but for whatever reason, he hates Him. All these “christians” on tv and in the news only push him farther away. I see God chasing him plain as day, but because of whatever happened in his past and because of people in the world today, he keeps running. 

How many people in your life are doing the same thing? Are you? 

I’m not perfect. I’m far from it. I’m nothing special or extraordinary. But I love Christ with my whole heart. I’ve been blessed with salvation and given so much peace in my life. 

And I want everyone to have and feel the same. I want us all to come together in Christ. I want us to move. I want to see people moved to tears from the power of God. From his love and grace. We all need to take a good look at ourselves and see if we are representing Christ the way we should be. 

Remember – the way we live may be the only bible someone ever reads. 

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You’re Waiting For Marriage? But You’re Not A Virgin!

Life is full of twists and turns. 

You start down one path, only to be redirected to another one. You think you have everything you want, only to realize something major is lacking. 

For 25 years of my life I stumbled through this world living one day at a time.

 I did what I wanted. 

I stayed out all hours of the day. I went to concerts (rock, of course!). I drank – sometimes heavily. I dated guys who were all wrong. I gave myself to men who didn’t deserve it. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I never really slept around. I had boyfriends and I had men who I thought I was crazy for. But that’s way besides the point, right?

I didn’t want them to leave, and having sex was the normal progression. Right? 

But I always felt like something was missing. A piece of my soul that was longing to be filled, but no matter how much I tried it always stayed empty. 

And, oh, how I tried! 

In the summer of 2014 I moved in why my boyfriend of a little over a year – for four days. 

Because I found out that he was smoking pot on the fourth day. 

It wasn’t even the fact of him smoking pot; it was the lies. 

So. Many. Lies. 

My world came crashing down and I didn’t know what to do. 

I went home to my mom, losing it the moment she asked me what was wrong. 

I sat on the couch crying and feeling completely hollow. 

My life was in shambles. 

I kept bouncing my bank account. My job sucked. I had recently had a panic attack – something I hadn’t had in years. My migraines were happening all of the time. My boyfriend has lied to me – and not just once. And I felt like all of my friends were leaving me behind. 

I didn’t know what to do. 

So I did the only thing I could think of.   

I prayed

I begged His forgiveness. I begged for Him to come into my life and change it. I told Him that I give up on trying to do everything my own way. 

I gave Him everything. 

I knew at that moment I could either follow Him, or keep ruining my life. 

So I chose to follow Him and I haven’t regretted that decision since. 

The part of my soul missing? It was God. 

I’m whole. I’m finally whole. 

Of course, with my salvation came changes. 

I started a new job and I’m getting ready to start my journey into Medical Coding. 

My migraines disappeared. 

I have money and haven’t bounced my account in almost two years. 

My clothing became much more modest. 

I am abstinent.  

Oh, and I’m some sort of mutant because I gave up having sex before marriage. 

Why is it we want to celebrate that we, as women, have the choice to sleep with whomever we want but not the right to choose not to have sex?

Why is there such a double standard? 

It’s empowering to have control over our sex lives, right? 

But not if that means not having one before marriage. 

What utter bull crap!

I’m more empowered now, not  having sex, than when I was. 

It’s my choice. 

It’s my right. 

It’s my faith. It’s my relationship with my Lord and Savior. 

It’s my body. 

I won’t look down on you for having premarital sex, so please don’t look down on me because I don’t. 

It works both ways. 

So yes, I can wait for marriage even though I’m not a virgin. 

Yes, that can scare men away,  but I don’t want a man who will be put off by my faith. It actually weeds out the ones that are wrong for me. 

I am unapologetically me. 

And I couldn’t be happier.